A Dominant’s Guide to Caring for Your SubBeing a Dom isn’t all about the whips and chains or punishing your sub. You’re also responsible for them, so you have to care for them and their needs. Once you’ve found your sub, perhaps on a legit fetish dating site or through your local BDSM club, you’re picking up an extra person to look after. A submissive in your care does add on more to an already full life, but it will also enrich what’s already there as long as you take proper care of it. For new doms and experienced ones, it’s a good idea to give yourself a refresher course in the proper care of a submissive.

Posted by Darren Efren on January 9, 2015 in Health with Comments closed |

Keep Their Trust

A submissive is still a person, and that person is giving you complete control. It might just be for the night or it might be a permanent living situation. You job is not to betray that trust. It’s sort of like that Spiderman line about great power. Just because you have it doesn’t mean that you can use it however you wish. Talk plans over with your sub and come up with fetish ideas together. Unlike the beginning of relationships, after a while your sub will become more than just a sexual object to you; they’ll be a partner. A partner that doesn’t make the decisions but can still object to any that is too unfair. When your sub has chosen you as their one true Master, it’s the BDSM equivalent of marriage minus the equal partnership. You’ll be responsible for paying the bills, letting him or her have a job, making decisions for the both of you and in both yours and theirs best interest.

Communicate with Them

“Have a healthy conversation with your Sub”

New doms might have the idea that since they’re the one in control they can do anything they’d like without talking to their sub, and that’s just not true. Dominants bring out a pleasure and intense gift in the bottoms when they do it right. Not just anyone you meet on a legit fetish dating sitehas the capability to handle pain and take orders like a submissive. Your job is to bring out what’s already in them, not try to force on what you want. Just because you talk to your partner doesn’t mean that you’re giving them extra ground. All it means is that you’re taking into consideration what they desire, fear, and need to create a scene or lifestyle that will satisfy everyone’s needs. While guessing at it or assuming that because they’re into a certain style of being controlled will give you a surface understanding, you’ll never know what’s under it until you really take the time to ask. Creating punishments and rules lies in your domain, but reaching out and getting help from your bottom will actually end up making you a better top. Ask him or her what you need to work on and then actually take their advice on it.

Make Sure Everything is Safe

“Keep everything under control”

Obviously the BDSM practices can be less than safe. All sorts of fetishes out there involve tight bindings, gags, knives, razors, needles, and brutal grabbing just to name a few. Before a submissive can really open up and show their namesake nature, they have to feel safe. Furthermore, once they do open up they need to be reminded of it from time to time. Setting very defined limits will make them feel better. Whether it’s what is expected of them in their household duties to the limits you will go to when in a scene, you’re setting up a safety net for them that they know they’ll fall into in case anything seems scary or intense. Having boundaries also lets them play within their limits without being afraid of trespassing into the undesirable acts that make you unhappy. If you don’t feel that a sub is matching up to your expectations, you can always look for someone new on the fetish dating sites. Make sure to stay clear of the scam sites. Visit http://fixatedfreak.com/best-dating-sites/ and find the best sites where you can find a good sub.

Be Consistent, but Also Challenging

“Keep things interesting and challenging for your sub”
Your bottom may seem to stray from the path you’ve set for them occasionally. Unless it’s a constant thing, all they are trying to do is test whether or not you’re going to do what’s best for them. Subs are put in a delicate position of always having to follow someone else’s rules, and if those rules end up being wishy-washy they’re going to get confused. Review the rules set in place often so that there is no questions on what needs to be done. It’s the same type of balance between a teacher and a student or an employer and employee. A set of rules has to be in place and apply to all situations at all times. If you allow your sub to break a rule while following others, you aren’t showing your dominancy. Without a dominant person to follow, how will they know what is expected of them? Without knowing what’s expected, how can they fulfill your needs? Do you see the cycle? Firm punishment and direction is the key to keeping everyone happy. In your sexual life, don’t try something completely out of left field without checking in with your sub first. Like we mentioned earlier they’re part of the plan as well. However, don’t be afraid to maybe push a little bit further on the pain scale than he or she is used to. There’s a reason for safe words and slow words, so use them. This doesn’t mean that you’re constantly hitting harder or chaining tighter because that will probably upset your bottom and take him or her out of the mood. You’re giving gentle pushes, not shoving them where you want. Subs don’t always realize that they’ll get bored with what you originally set up for them in terms of boundaries, and they may drag their feet on the change, but in the end will thank you for it. While experimentation is fun, what really keeps the two of you going is keeping some routine in the mix.

They Need Your Reassurance as Well as Your Punishments

When your sub steps out of line, it is solely your responsibility to correct them. Without this, they’ll develop bad habits that will end up letting everyone down. This is common knowledge, but what is often forgotten is the need to also reassure your bottom. A submissives mental health is always just as at stake as their physical health. In this sort of lifestyle it’s easy to make them feel unwanted and unloved. By reminding them every now and then that they are your person or property and they are cherished will quell that little voice telling them that they mean nothing to you. Your approval and reassurance will also help them get through the confusing or trying times when they are trying to reach a new goal that you have set for them. Reviewing all of the ways they are valuable to you while they’re sick or insecure is the best way to keep them obedient and happy.

It’s a lot of work to be a dominant, and the forums you read on fetish dating sites, no matter how legit they are can’t even begin to give you an idea of what you’re in for. Caring for, punishing, and setting up the life of another person will add a load onto your plate that you’d never considered before having children. Taking the proper care of your sub will further your relationship past the initial Dom/Sub activities and fulfill fantasies you didn’t know you had before.

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Biggest Mistakes Men Make on Casual Dating Sites

Posted by Darren Efren on December 1, 2013 in All, Relationships with Comments closed |

When it comes to mistakes that men make on casual dating sites, we are a predictable bunch. Very few guys stray far from the template of common errors, which is actually good news… It means that if you are screwing up, it is usually pretty easy to pinpoint where you’ve gone wrong and make the necessary corrections to start getting the attention of the women you want to hook up with.

Biggest Mistakes Men Make on Casual Dating Sites-1

Mistakes that men make on casual dating sites

1) Using the Wrong Pictures to Meet Sex Buddies

They say that a picture is worth a thousand words, and this is especially true when you are trying to meet sex buddies. The photos you choose for your profile will be the first impression a woman will have of you, so choose wisely. ( Learn How To Keep Your Sex Buddy From Getting Attached) First off, no crotch shots. Really. Women find it a turn-off. Secondly, only post flattering pictures when trying to meet sex buddies. It’s not like you have to be an Abercrombie model to score, but appearance does matter. Think about it. You might not think that a girl has to look like she just stepped off the runway in order to want to meet her, but you aren’t going to want to hookup with a slob wearing stained sweatpants and a ratty t-shirt, either. No matter what women say about not judging guys by their appearance, it’s not true. Chicks only want to meet sex buddies who take some pride in their appearance and put in some effort to look nice.

Biggest Mistakes Men Make on Casual Dating Sites-2

Spelling mistakes and grammatical errors is the kiss of death on casual dating sites

2) A Poorly Written Profile

A profile that is full of spelling mistakes and grammatical errors is the kiss of death on casual dating sites. Women notice these things, and while you might get away with a missing apostrophe, if your profile looks like it was written by your ten-year-old nephew, you’re not going to have many women pay attention to it in life more or less on a casual dating site. Even if you get all of those details right, if the content sucks, you’ll find yourself in the same sinking boat. Don’t be boring, cynical, or too raunchy. All three of these are signals to women that they shouldn’t waste their time on you, and they’ll be inclined to keep looking for something better.

3) Being Too Picky

It’s good to have standards. It’s bad to have impossible standards. If you have decided that you’ll only have a fling with a blonde haired, blue eyed woman who weighs under 120 pounds and has at least a D cup, dream on. When you set such tight parameters on who is worthy of your attention, you are cutting out the vast majority of the women you could be hooking up with. Not only is it somewhat ridiculous, it could also be an incredibly offensive turn-off to women who almost, but not quite, meet the criteria you were hoping to have fulfilled. Try to limit your searches only by eliminating the things that you find totally nonnegotiable. The more open-minded you are, the more likely it is that you will actually end up meeting women for sex.

4) Thinking No Strings Attached Means No Rules Apply

The last big mistake that is a common occurrence in the world of casual dating is thinking that because the sex has no strings attached that absolutely anything goes and no rules apply. This is totally off base. Even a friends with benefits or NSA relationship has restrictions! While it’s true that you aren’t held to the same standards as those that are typical in traditional dating and relationships, don’t let yourself believe that no strings attached sex means that you can act like a total douchebag and women will just put up with it. Women are in much higher demand than men on most casual dating sites, and if you treat them like crap, you probably won’t be getting much action. No one is saying that you have to send your no strings attached hookup flowers and call daily, but just be nice. Say thank you or let her know you had a good time if you did. Ask for her input about how to make your encounters as good for her as they are for you. If you aren’t interested in a repeat and she is, decline politely. There’s no need to say anything rude to her about how awful she is in bed or didn’t look as cute in person as she did in her pictures. All that’s really required is some basic human decency. On a selfish note, because so many guys are jerks to women, all it will take is you putting in some effort to be extra nice, and it will make you stand out as being much more desirable than a lot of the other guys who are contacting her. When women like how they’re treated, they tend to show their appreciation with much more enthusiastic and giving sex. Everybody wins.

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7 Ways To Be A Successful Blogger

Posted by Darren Efren on November 8, 2013 in All, Technology with Comments closed |

Do you want to be a successful blogger? Do you know the latest trends in blogging? Whether you are a budding blogger or you have been doing it for many years, you can find a lot of important info in this article that can help you become even more successful. Here are 7 ways to become a successful blogger:

Make sure that you have a passion for blogging

If blogging is not your passion, you will find it very hard to succeed. Don’t just create a blog because of money. Start one that you’re passionate about. That way, you will not just enjoy what you are doing, but you can also become popular in the blogging community.

Apart from being passionate about blogging, you should also have the desire. Desire keeps you writing on a daily basis.

Share your positivity

Writing positive posts can easily entice people. People would rather read posts that are positive and fun than those that are filled with negativity. Nobody really wants to read posts where you just whine and moan.

Treat others the way they treat you

In the world of blogging, you can expect some people to like you and some to hate you. Be nice to those who like you and ignore those who feel the opposite way. You can expect to gain more readers as your blog grows. This means that you will have more supporters and more haters.

Be yourself

Be yourself. Have a pleasing personality and show it off in your posts. Do not attempt to copy other blog sites. Bloggers have different personalities. You are also different from them. Copying others will not make you successful. Although you can learn from their ideas, you should still be yourself at all times.

Blog platforms:There are various blog platform which include

Blog platforms:There are various blog platform which include

Be dedicated

Like everything else, it takes dedication to become successful. When your blog is still new, you will need to spend long hours on it. As your blog grows, you will spend lesser time on your site. Your dedication will pay off in time.

Be creative

It takes creativity to be able to design and maintain a site. Learn the basics and continue to gain knowledge. Every day is an opportunity to learn. Think outside of the box and do not hesitate to try new things.



Conquer your fears

It is typical for new bloggers to fear the unknown. They do not know if they will gain readers. Do not feel the same way. Just go ahead and do what you want to do. Write what’s on your mind and make sure to be original.

Once you are done creating the blog, everything else will just follow. By taking note of the points mentioned above, becoming a successful blogger can be pretty easy. You will continue to learn as you go down the road. Finally, make sure to put your heart into what you are doing and you will surely find it to be a life-changing experience.       

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The Baby Feud: To Have Or Not To Have?

Posted by Darren Efren on November 4, 2013 in All, Relationships with Comments closed |

Every baby is a blessing. But would anyone be ready to grab that blessing? Many will feel high on a cloud 9 just knowing they are on the family way. Bur what if you are one of the few whose partner is absolutely not ready to have a baby? Should you just bring up the discussion straightforward with no holds barred or just sit around and wait that he or she might come around? If you’re caught in the middle maybe these few simple tips might help.


There will always be an excuse for not having a baby like it is not the right time, not enough money to raise a kid and so on. But trying to bring the discussion on a constant basis might turn tables from your partner. Tell your partner what you feel and vice versa. At least then you’ll know how he or she feels too. Just try to keep on bringing up the subject until your partner realizes how important it is to you. You should be able to at least meet halfway and come to a compromise. Meet in the middle and plan a date when both of you are ready. Sometimes it only takes a baby to conceive before your partner realizes that it is right.

A good plan. Being a parent is a serious matter, and tricking a guy into getting you pregnant is not fair to him, to the baby, and, ultimately to you. You should wait until you BOTH want a baby

A good plan. Being a parent is a serious matter, and tricking a guy into getting you pregnant is not fair to him, to the baby, and, ultimately to you. You should wait until you BOTH want a baby

The biological clock

Your family and your partner’s family might be pressuring you to get pregnant. And now it’s starting to make you realize things that, “Yeah, I’m getting older. I might as well have a baby before it’s too late for me.” Ideally, there should be a preliminary talk about having a baby with you and your partner before the wedding or if not married, before living together. The pressure from family and friends should not be the main reason why you’re all positive about this. When you try to make a decision, do consider your ages which affect fertility and the level of energy you might have in order to raise a kid because hey, raising a kid is a tough and tiring job. You might also want to discuss if you’re healthy enough to conceive and to carry a baby to term. A woman’s body clock is ticking so if you’re middle aged already this is one factor that you should seriously look into. Better see a doctor so that you as a couple would know things better enough to try to reach a decision.

Keys To Starting And Maintaining A Successful Relationship

Keys To Starting And Maintaining A Successful Relationship

Expose your partner with friends that have children

If having children is what’s necessary for you to feel complete and fulfilled, this is something you should be able to resolve with your partner. Surely getting into arguments or just simply waiting and hoping if your partner would change his or her mind is not the best approach. Bring along your partner to a family day outings, Sunday picnics, and events that require parents and children to be present. Being around “family men” or “family women” may help the transition from only the two of you to being a complete family. In this way, your partner could see how a baby could turn your lives with happiness and could establish a good foundation in a relationship.

Whatever is the outcome of your discussions be sure to be sensitive about your partner’s perspective. This attempt could be lengthen or shorten anyways. If you both have a loving relationship, this dilemma will end up fine. Don’t force your other half. A baby can be toxic in a relationship on an unwilling partner.

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How to Lose 10 Pounds in 3 Weeks

Posted by Darren Efren on October 30, 2013 in All, Health with Comments closed |

Losing weight is one of the most sought-after goals anywhere today. This is because people in today’s generation are overweight due to unhealthy diet and lack of exercise. There are many training exercises and diets that came forward claiming they are the most effective in helping people lose weight. While there are those that indeed lose weight after trying a specific program, this is not the same to other people. For those that want to lose 10 pounds within the next three weeks, here are some tips that might help you do this.

  • Switch from slow cardio exercises to resistance training workouts – Many people think that running on the treadmill will help them lose a lot of excess pounds. This is actually not true. Even with you walk in a moderate pace you won’t burn much calories. In fact walking in brisk pace for about an hour will only burn 295 calories. If you do this for the entire week, you won’t even loss a pound. If you want to lose 10 pounds within three weeks, you need to perform resistance training.

Ever Safe to Lose 10 Pounds in One Week

Ever Safe to Lose 10 Pounds in One Week

Resistance training is also referred to as circuit training and helps you burn twice more calories compared when you are brisk walking. Studies have also shown that resistance training that involves weights, kettlebells and calisthenics are more effective in helping people lose weight compared to cardio exercises. If you want to lose fat especially in the abdominal area, you need to switch to resistance training.

  • Reduce your carbs intake – If you want to lose 10 or pounds within three weeks, you must follow this tip. Otherwise you will have a hard time hitting your target. When you reduce your carbohydrate intake, the body is forced to use the stored fat in your body as a source of energy. By reducing carbohydrate intake, you also reduce your water weight. Reducing carbohydrate intake is far better than reading labels and being paranoid on calorie intake. You don’t even to give up carbohydrate at once. You just need to reduce your intake.

  • Take lemon water instead of diet coke – there are many people who feast on diet coke thinking that they are reducing their calorie intake. However, studies have shown that constant consumption of diet coke actually increases your weight because you tend to eat more than usual. Instead of drinking diet coke, you can drink lemon water. Lemon water makes you fuller after a meal so you won’t get hungry at once. The lemon component in the drink will also slow down food digestion and will keep your energy level stable until your next meal.

Lose The Last 10 Pounds!:A few simple weight loss tricks is all it takes to make the extra pounds disappear

Lose The Last 10 Pounds!:A few simple weight loss tricks is all it takes to make the extra pounds disappear

There is no such thing as perfect formula to lose weight. Losing weight is a trial and error for most people. They must try and try until they find the right diet and the workout routine that is effective to them in terms of weight loss. For those that don’t want have time for trial, they can start with the suggestions listed above and find out for themselves if indeed they will lose 10 pounds in three weeks.

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Quick Ways Of Fixing Faulty Credit History

Posted by Darren Efren on October 23, 2013 in All, Money with Comments closed |

Bad credit is seen as the greatest tragedy to hit America in the recent past. It is clear that many people are having debts and now that the market has changed its focus to bad-creditors, there is a need to make things better to avoid the cutting off of an external financing branch. However, fixing faulty credit is not easy and it takes tremendous effort to save you from being drowned by debts.

Ways to Repair Bad Credit

Repairing bad debts increases the credit score of a person. This is a number which shows how credit worth a person is and is released by the agency rating credits. The agency achieves this by providing for each of the following criterion a weight age.

  • Amounts owed

  • Payment history

  • Length of credit history

  • New lines of credits

 How To Repair Your Bad Credit :Credit Repair Services | Improve Fix your Credit Score Report

How To Repair Your Bad Credit :Credit Repair Services | Improve Fix your Credit Score Report

Types of Credits Used

All these factors should be hit positively to improve your credit history. You can achieve this by simply improving your payment history and also reduce the amount you owe.

Settle all your debts

This is very important. Plan your cash flow in a manner which reduces the amount of your debt consistently. A professional credit counsellor can help you plan how to reduce tour debts by examining your income and then help you split unnecessary expenses from the most important expenses. This structuring will help you reduce the amount of debt you owe.

New Credit Lines

You need to prove to the agency your credit worthiness over various credit lines. They will then increase your credit rating if it is positive. It is therefore to pay all the new lines of credit you have in time. This will prove your worthiness and also help you settle you current debts. However you may need to learn a little more on financial management to do this properly.



Old Credit Cards

If you have old paid off credit cards, do not throw them away as they not help with the memories of the good times but also keeps records of your settled debts. If you show the credit rating people the fully paid off credit history, they may be pleased and increase your credit rating.

Build Assets

Ensure you intelligently and effectively the amount of money which remains after you have paid all your debts by investing it or saving it for another bad day. Having something as a security to present to your lenders might warm up the lender to offer you credit. Therefore it is crucial to build a strong asset base.

Keep Constant Communication with Lenders

Being in good terms with your lenders and always ensuring that they understand your situation will always work to your advantage as it cushions you from being reported by the lender to the credit rating agency in case you default one or two monthly payments. It not wise to run and hide or shut the door every time the lender passes by. Actually, you are likely to gain the lenders favour if you effectively reason and negotiate with the lender. This also helps you evade the chances of them reporting you to the agency in case of failure of payment.

From these it is clearly evident that improving you credit history is no easy task and involves a complete overhaul of your finances. However by focusing on the benefits you will be able to gain the courage to achieve it.

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When to Know the Right Time for Being Promoted

Posted by Darren Efren on October 15, 2013 in All, Business with Comments closed |

In business and professional setting, getting a promotion seems like a common thing to get or achieve. However, people also need to make sure that they are within the right position and the right time to get the promotion. Getting a promotion isn’t as easy as it seems. Not only it requires hard work, it also needs careful and smart planning when they really want to grow. Planning to get a promotion can be done when people have already owned certain mindset or certain structure that allow them to achieve their goal in the end.

First Stages

The first thing that people need to do when they want to be promoted is to work in the right environment and right company that allows them to grow. There are certain companies that really restrict their employees’ movement, skills, and expertise because they don’t really want their employees to develop for the sake of company’s profit. Be sure to avoid such company because they will bring nothing except misery. When they are working within the right spot and the right position, they know when their time is coming. Such thing can’t be missed, surely.

The second thing that they need to do is to work as best as they can. It doesn’t matter whether they have very low position or they have already reached the middle stage in the company’s structure. The key to get promoted is to do the best as best as they can; no matter how hard or easy the task is. When people are able to perform within the best manner and they are able to deliver the best, they can guarantee that they will be on the next promotion list. There is no such thing as too big task or too small jobs; all kinds work requires the same attention focus, and determination. When people know how to do their work well, they know when their right time is for promotion.

You work hard to make your business a success

You work hard to make your business a success

It is important to let other people know about what they are doing and be popular during the process. It doesn’t mean that they should be attention grabber or people who always brag around about their success. Simply stay in contact with their supervisors so their supervisors know about their progress and the good process of their work. While doing so, try to stay popular among other colleagues. Help others and lend a hand so other colleagues won’t think them arrogant. It will make their path to promotion easier.

Other Tips and Tricks

There are other tips to help people know when their promotion is right around the corner:

  • Learn new skills. By learning new skills that are beyond the current’s requirements, people can be sure that the company will view them as good assets; thus, leading to the promotion.

  • Accept new challenges when they are present. Don’t be afraid to take new jobs or projects although they may not within the skill range. There is nothing wrong about learning new things. After all, people can always learn new stuffs while improving their abilities and skills as well.

    Strategies for Moving Up the Corporate Ladder

    Strategies for Moving Up the Corporate Ladder

  • Get a mentor. Maintaining good relationship with someone with higher position and skills within the company is important. It doesn’t mean that they will get new promotion easily, but having such mentor can really help in developing their knowledge and their skills.

  • Be brave to seek other employment when the current work doesn’t allow them to grow. Don’t be stuck within a place only; there are other places where they are much worthy and more valuable.

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